He pushed the sweaty hair back from his forehead and collapsed down next to me. We both caught our breath in silence and kept our eyes fixed on the ceiling. I cautiously turned to look at him- bracing myself to see a guilty look in his eye. Instead I was met with a gaze of triumph and a twisted smile.
"You doing ok?"
I nodded and gave a feeble smile back.
"Want a smoke? Think I have a cigar left somewhere..."
He pulled his jeans over and started to rummage through his pockets.
"No.I'm good thanks."
I pulled myself across the car floor and pushed open the back hatch door of the van to let in some of the cool summer night air. I pulled my legs to my chest and looked out across the corn field at the dots of far away head lights traveling along the free way. He crawled up behind me and draped his cardigan around my shoulders- after planting a kiss on my bare shoulder.
"Mind if I do?"
He held a cigar and lighter up.
"Go ahead. Just make sure it doesn't blow back into the car. My mom would kill me."
"Oh good call... I won't then."
He tossed them back by his things and stretched to grab his phone.
"Shit. I missed a call from her. Mind if I call her back?"
I shrugged in indifference- still staring at the lights far away.
He talked to her for about ten minutes. He talked about his day, the wicked shoes he had found at the mall, the party they would go to tomorrow. I sat there- trying not to listen. But he and I were at a point where we really had nothing to hide from each other anymore. We had this odd, unspoken bond. A forced trust that came with knowing that you each could destroy each others lives in five seconds.
"Ok. I'll call you around noon tomorrow. Love you. Sleep well."
I glanced lazily over to him as he hung up the phone.
"Don't you feel weird saying that to her?"
"No. I do love her."
"Really?"
"Of course. I'm saving up for a ring. I just have to make sure she's ready and graduated before I propose or anything."
"Wait. No offense but- are you sure you really love her? I mean... look at what we have been doing for these two years."
"It's because I love her that I'm doing this. I don't want to cheat on her with anyone."
"Hate to break it to you- but you're cheating on her with me."
"No... you don't count. I'm not running around having one night stands with strangers or anything. But this is just you. I know its not going to leave the two of us. And by doing this you're helping me stay more faithful."
He leaned over and pushed some hair behind my ears. I squirmed at his touch.
"You're fucked up."
"Maybe. But you like it."
He kissed me. I thought about pulling away, but decided against it. We were already damned.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Girls Episode 5
"What about Gillian?"
?
It'll come to you.
Ok I get it now. Your favorite line?
Nope just a moment.
Lol thanks for sharing?
Hmmf.
That was an interesting onomatopoeia. What did you think of that episode?
On par with the past episodes. You?
Yup. It reaffirmed my hate of Marni. And I didn't get the masturbation scene.
The Marni thread was so well written tho. I think Adam just wanted to be treated the way he treats hannah by Hannah. Like a dominate woman thing. Thoughts?
Yes it was well written. Still hate her. And I guess that makes sense. So does that mean they are together...? or do you think that helped her leave for good?
I don't know. It's kinda becoming a running thing for her to have an out if she just walks away and she cant leave.
Can you rephrase that? It kinda flew over my head.
Its a reoccurring event for Hannah to have a way out if she departs but she is never able to.
Think she's just afraid of being alone.
Yeah. She just likes the attention regardless of the source
Well that's just bc she isn't used to getting attention so she wants to keep it around when she finds it.
Yeah instead of trusting that it will come along again from someone who cares about her
Well I'm guessing she has been burned badly by that before. And has low self esteem. its hard to bounce back from stuff like that.
I'm sure it is. It's a tough situation
At what point is it ok to read into things?
?
It'll come to you.
Ok I get it now. Your favorite line?
Nope just a moment.
Lol thanks for sharing?
Hmmf.
That was an interesting onomatopoeia. What did you think of that episode?
On par with the past episodes. You?
Yup. It reaffirmed my hate of Marni. And I didn't get the masturbation scene.
The Marni thread was so well written tho. I think Adam just wanted to be treated the way he treats hannah by Hannah. Like a dominate woman thing. Thoughts?
Yes it was well written. Still hate her. And I guess that makes sense. So does that mean they are together...? or do you think that helped her leave for good?
I don't know. It's kinda becoming a running thing for her to have an out if she just walks away and she cant leave.
Can you rephrase that? It kinda flew over my head.
Its a reoccurring event for Hannah to have a way out if she departs but she is never able to.
Think she's just afraid of being alone.
Yeah. She just likes the attention regardless of the source
Well that's just bc she isn't used to getting attention so she wants to keep it around when she finds it.
Yeah instead of trusting that it will come along again from someone who cares about her
Well I'm guessing she has been burned badly by that before. And has low self esteem. its hard to bounce back from stuff like that.
I'm sure it is. It's a tough situation
At what point is it ok to read into things?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)